Walking the path

Leaving Belfast to Sydney to start all over again was not an easy decision. Believe it or not, it was not any easier to make the decision to leave my Friendster Blog to a new domain. I will miss the the service from Friendster, emailing all my friends whenever I have updated my blog.

I have been looking for a blog site, where visitors can drop a message without needing to log in. The responses from visitors is part of the motivation to keep my bloging going. Dobbs sugested Wordpress, I think I shall give it ago.

This is about the 3rd time i tried moving my blog. Goodbye Friendster blog (for now at least). I shall move my old posts slowly over to my new site…

It has been a while since I last
updated my blog… Just less motivated to write these days, and
finding Facebook quite fun. Friendster blog is lacking the ability
for the general public to feedback. Maybe I should move on to a new
blog…

My “Epic Journey”, the move to
Australia from Belfast, is falling into place slowly. Australian
Medical Council have decided that UK medical graduates with full GMC
registration can get full registration in Australia after 1 year
supervised training. No need for AMC exams! Unfortunately, NSW
Medical Board is slightly behind time with the red tapes, I probably
have to wait for a few more months before getting full registration.

I just got offered a 3 years Basic
Registrar Training job in Sydney Children Hospital! Excited to
finally progress into my registrar years… 3 yrs training job in one
of the best paediatrics center in Australia, what else can I ask for?

Sitting for Paeds Diploma exams in
November… Then the BIG exam in March, FRACP. Well… made up my
mind that it is about time to get some (more) letters behind my name.
Traditionally, Sydney Children Hospital  have one of the highest
passing rate in Australia, thanks to the extra effort that the senior
staffs put in to teach the registrar.  I sort of crash into the
teaching sessions midway through, the others taking the exam have
been studying hard for many months… I probably have lots of  catch
up to do.

MRCPCH is still a dream… Not sure how
to realized it…

Social life wise… got a small group
of medics friend. And a LARGE UniBuds family! Thanks UniBuds for the
great friendship.

Well… the missing part of my life is
obvious. Family members scattered around the world. There is no sign
when everybody can come together…

As for GF, it still remain in the
finding stage. There is no light and no end to the tuner at this
moment of time.

Bodhi Nite 2007 by UniBuds, University Of New South Wales Buddhist Society.
Photos link here.

Well done to UniBuds for another successful Bodhi Nite! So much talent, so well organised.

Thank you for the friendship…

The Invisible Grasp

August 8th, 2007 at 2:27 am
(Writings,  Blogroll,  Events,  Buddhism)

What if I told you that all of your life’s problems stem from one single cause? Will you believe me?

What if I told you I can show you the way to solve these problems? Will you think it is possible?

I don’t believe in belief, despite how
paradoxical that statement is. And I don’t want you to blindly believe
in me either. So let’s try it out and you see for yourself. Think of a
problem – any problem. Lost love. Lost friend. Lost marks. Lost job.
Lost money. Lost car. Lost opportunity. Lost reputation.

Now think for a minute how you feel.
Unhappy, angry, depressed, frustrated, pity, disappointed,
self-critical, or maybe unloved. Whatever the feeling stay with it and
recognise it is there. No need to push it away or suppress it. Don’t
act upon it either.

Now ask yourself, “Why do I feel this way?” And keep asking yourself “why?” until you get to the root of your unhappiness.

You may come up with many answers, but let
me propose that inevitably, it will always lead to one answer:
attachment. Attachment to things being the way they are and people
being a particular way. Attachment to our views as right, and feeling
our egos threatened with every criticism.

But everything is impermanent and subject to change. Things change, circumstances change, people change, and most importantly, we change.
Problems often arise when we live and attach to things as if they are
supposed to be permanent, instead of changing ourselves to the natural
rhythms of life.

If we accept that attachment can cause
unhappiness, then obviously letting go is a source of happiness. But
what does that actually mean? It doesn’t mean to give up or to be
indifferent. It has a much more profound meaning than that.

To explore more on this theme of attachment,
the UNSW Buddhist Society (UNIBUDS) will be holding its anniversary
celebration of performances and festivities on the 25^th August from 7pm to 10pm at the Sir John Clancy  Auditorium.
There will be a one-hour play, songs performed by our trained choir,
multimedia animations, talks on Buddhism by a respected monk and nun,
and a vegetarian dinner before the show at 6pm. Tickets cost $10 for
UNIBUDS members and $12 for all others.

UNIBUDS also has other FREE weekly
activities on campus, including Dhamma talks in English (Fridays,
7-9pm) and Chinese (Thursday, 6-8pm) and Meditation Sessions (Tuesday
and Thursday, 1-2pm).

For more information, please log onto our website at www.unibuds.unsw.edu.au

- Article printed in Blitz -

The above was written by TINA NG. Please contact me or UniBuds if you want to join us for this event.

Please meet Sunny, the mascot of
Sydney Children Hospital. Sigh… I so miss Sunny. This is my 6^th
night shift, whenever Sunny is out, I am in bed…

All my working life, I have been in big
teaching hospital, besides last year in club Mona (ie Mona Vale
Hospital). Sydney Children Hospital, is part of Prince of Wales
Hospital, the biggest teaching hospital complex in Australia. Working
in Sydney Children Hospital, I should be like fish back in water…
but I am experiencing reverse cultural shock.

Nights are busy, non-stop! One call
after another. I will be lucky to get 5 minutes to sit down for a cup
of tea. Luckily there is a good functioning water cooler on level 3
that keep me hydrated over night. Quite a contrast with Mona Vale
nights, usually it become quiet after midnight, and I will be lucky
to be called there after. (hehe… lucky because in Mona Vale, the
hospital pay you a very competitive rate for call back!)

Being out in Mona Vale, seeing kids
with acute illness, sometimes I have forgotten how complicated the
chronically ill children can be. It is common that these children
have  a medical record thicker than the phone book. Reviewing some of
this patients at night is time consuming, luckily most of them have a
comprehensive managed plan lay down by the day team.

Starting off in a new place is never
easy… we are all trying to work out how much we can trust each
other. Winning over the trust of the nursing staffs take some time, I
am glad to have a lot of support from the nurses while working in
Mona Vale. I am working to win over the nurses in Sydney Children
Hospital, it is not easy, I am just another junior medical staffs to
them.

After most nights, I would head
straight back home, take a shower, check my emails, and head to bed.
Unfortunately, with mess up circadian rhythm, I could only sleep for
very few hours. I have also been eating one meal a day… Having big
big dinner but sleep through lunch. Hehe… the combination of lack
of sleep and not much food, my jeans did feel loser.

The nights are challenging, I will
survive it:)

***Hehe… you know how bad it is, when
you actually need to resort to positive thinking!***

Handed in my pager (don’t really miss
you), my last call back form (I will really really miss you), and my
room keys in Mona Vale. It has been a interesting and enjoyable year.
Goodbye Mona Vale, I am moving on.

Glad that my Little Yellow Jazz is so
roomy. It is pretty impressive how much of stuff I managed to collect
over past one year.

Sydney Children Hospital, is part of a
group of hospital called Prince of Wales Hospitals. I am staying in
the hostel. This is the room, soon after I moved some of the stuff
in. One thing missing from the room is a RADIATOR… Last night was
freezing cold. I think I have to buy a fan heater, well it is not
that green, but anything else that generate heat (?hot wife
inclusive) will cost a lot more…

Other problem is that, there is no
fridge space However, dinner out in Kingsford cost only $10, maybe
there is no need for a fridge.

Starting my first of 8 nights
tonight… It does remind me of the sleepless nights in Royal
Belfast Hospital for Sick Children… I am glad to be back in a
Children Hospital!

Small steps in this epic journey… at
least I am heading the intended direction…

I Went to the Change Your Mind, Change
The World conference last weekend. Mitra, the organizer did a good
job to managed a crowd of nearly 400 people, including providing tea
and lunch over the 2 days. The speakers were generally good, some are
just inspiring…

When I was 12 years old, I wanted to be
the Prime Minister of Malaysia. When I was 15-16 years old, I was
idealistic, I wanted to change the world, I wanted a perfect world.
But soon, I realized that the country/the world is in a mess, and I
can do as much as I want, but will not have much effect in sorting
out the mess. My energy is finite, I no longer aspire to change the
big world. Improving my immediate surrounding is much manageable
task. (Hmmm…. Maybe I should start by fixing the mess in my room.)

During the conference, we were ask to
attend workshops, on topics that really resonate with our heart. I
attended one of the work shop  on Racism And Intolerance. Sifu Yuan
Shi (a Ch’an Master) who happen to walk by, said that Racism is BLIND
(why blind? You may need to ask him yourself). I can imagine that it
must be difficult for blind people to be racist, by definition they
are having trouble seeing the physical body, let alone trying to
differentiate our colour. Interestingly, among this group of seven,
there were five people who had grown up in Malaysia, one from China,
and a Australian Caucasian.  (Out of the 400 participants, about half
are Caucasian). This topic seems to be resonating in some more than
others.

The other workshop that I attended was
the Meaning of Life. Actually, I did attended 2 workshop on this
topic, still unclear about the Meaning of Life after the first
workshop, I decided to attend the second. The lay facilitators
probably have some ideas of what is the Meaning of THEIR life, but
the rest of the group is still searching for the meaning of our life.

Being away from home, working long
hours (up to 120hr/week! Usually 50-70hrs), I did sit back and ask
myself, is this the meaning of life? Am I living or surviving? Don’t
get me wrong, I love my job, I love working. During long holidays (ie
more than 10 days), when I start to feel bored, I do ask myself, is
this Life?

The facilitators and some others in the
group, did suggested that there is a Ultimate Meaning of Life. At
this moment of time, I believe, that life is a journey, not a
destination. Instead of finding the “meaning of life” and work
towards it, I choose to wander along this journey, experiencing every
moment, living in the present. Maybe there is no meaning to life, we
just walk along the path of life, until we drop dead…

“The purpose of life is to be Happy.”
The Dalai Lama. That is another thought.

Went for a 4 days meditation retreat
with UNIBUDS last week. Feeling refreshed now:)

Sunnataram Forest Monastery is in
Bundanoon, Southern Highland of NSW. The temple ground is about 100
acres of bushland, right beside a national park. The air quality is
great, and there is no sound or light pollution. The night sky was
dotted with stars, amazing.

The Abbot, Phra Mana is naturally
warmth, at peace with himself and the world. I can feel loving
kindness radiating from him.

60+ members of UNIBUDS attended this
retreat. As usual, this is a bubbly, energetic group. I was really
impress with how some of the girls took care of another member who
was not so well, making sure that she was comfortable and safe. If
only the health care workers are as dedicated as them.

Special thanks to the Aunties
volunteering in the kitchen. Food was good and healthy, much better
than the food that I am feeding myself for the past 1 year in
Australia.

Meditation was not so great for me. I
was finding it really difficult to concentrate and be mindful. Most
time, I could hardly managed one pointedness beyond 20 seconds…
Just felt really empty in me, could not find the mental energy to
meditate… Is this an excuse?

I enjoyed the physical work of chopping
up firewoods and making the “boxes” (coffin for contemplation
about death). It was good relaxation, non taxing on my brain.

The wildlifes in Sunnataram roam freely
in the Monastery compound. There are a few wombats,   Indian
Peafowls, and plenty of parrots and ducks. The wildlife are calm and
undisturbed.

Read YangYi’s blog and Julian’s blog
about this retreat.

Australian King Parrot (Male)

Australian King Parrot (Female)

Crimson Rosella

After 72 hours on-call, I felt like
this tree trunk… burnout and hollow, barely surviving.

I decided to
unwind in Ku-ring-gai Chase National Park, not far from my place. As
my fitness level is no where near the time when I was preparing for
Border Trek 2005, I drove to the entrance of the National Park,
taking 30km off my cycle trip.

The first 1km was up hill all the
way… nearly gave up. Really miss those days in Belfast, when I used
to fly (cycle) up and down town with no pain. After the body had warm
up, the cycle is less painful, and I could actually enjoy my
surrounding. The ride in Ku-ring-gai Chase is great, no car! At one
point, there was a wallaby by the road, looking at this F*t man
puffing away up the hill.

After 12km of lovely cycle (which took
me an hour! Well it was hills after hills. At least that was what I
felt.), I reached the Basin Trek. The trek is 2.8km one way. It was
about 3pm, and I thought I have plenty of time… I chain up my bike
and started trekking into the bush with my dSLR (camera).

There was plenty of birds singing, but
as usual they were always illusive and camera shy. This Tree of
Fertility became my model.

After a long walk and a deep descend, I
reached the Basin. This is a peaceful bay, with a camping area.

The Australian Wood  Duck with stunning
feather details.

The wallabies feeding on the ground.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I left the Basin shortly after 4pm.
Disappointed not sighting the Sea Eagles that suppose to be nesting
near the Basin at this time of the year. Also there was no show from
the Yellow Honeyeaters.

Trekking back was tough! My quadriceps
were hurting… Maybe I have been neglecting my fitness level for too
long…

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Half way through, I heard a loud call
and spotted this little fella on a tree. This White Cheeked
Honeyeater is definitely camera shy, it took quite a while before I
got  this shot. Worth all my effort trekking and cycling.

The sun was setting fast…. But I
could not resist taking this photo.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            By the time I reach my bicycle, it was
nearly completely dark. I start panicking! I ate my last cereal bar
quickly and take off. The wind was cold, the temperature did drop
quickly after sunset. With 4 blinking LEDs, I was not prepared to
cycle in the dark, deep in the National Park. Worse of all, my water
bottle is empty, I have run out of energy drink.

The LED light is really hopeless. I can
hardly see my way. I did not fancy the idea of spending my night in
the bush with the wallabies and ??Dingo, so I have no choice but to
keep cycling. While climbing the first hill, my quadriceps went into
spasm (which happens to me after 80km during my Border Trek
experience).   I though I would have to spend the night in the bush.
But luckily after some stretching, I was able to go back on the
route. The 12km in darkness was not fun. Worse when a wild animal the
size of a wallaby nearly rush into my bicycle.

I was glad to see my Yellow Jazz….

It is official! This blog is not safe for reading by children without parental guidance.

After reading the post by pilocarpine, I decided to get my blog rated. Well…. apparently there are too many "ass" on this site, leading to a PG rating.